Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veterans Day

Salutations once again to my loyal ~readers

On this veterans day I have imbibed in [perhaps] a bit too much of the Vodka that I have so laboriously concocted in my [filthy] bath tub, and being ever so inebriated/intoxicated ~I have spent the day crying about my failed ~military service such as it is...But at least I am not a FRAUDulent veteran like some ~fucktards that I am acquainted with...

You see ~my friend, or more appropriately, my puppet Mark has claimed disingenuously to have served in the military, and of all things, to have served in the capacity of Colonel in the chemical corps. But, only to later recant and claim to have been a sergeant, and even later claiming to have only been a private serving under the alias moniker of Batman. I would be hard pressed to believe that Mark had ever served in the military as a private, let alone a Colonel, or Sergeant. For one, Mark obviously can't even spell Colonel, or Sergeant, so how could he have ever ranked as one. Surely to serve in the military in the EXCITED STATES OF HAMERICA one must be capable of spelling his/her rank...But I do digress

I may have fallen down the hatch and broken my neck in a drunken stupor, but at least my service has been proven.

Go fuck your chickens Mark, and to the rest of you ~may Al Pacino drive your teeth out through your assholes, assholes.

Your drunken gay military ~hero

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Once again time for another exciting update!!!

I hope that all my loyal ~readers had a merry Christmas, just as I did, mine however, was mostly spent sucking off voodoo reasoning ~jigaboos down at the local home-less shelter...Oh how I love the [salty] taste of a Negro's load on my refined palette.

As usual, I also made the yearly trip to my ~whore of a mothers house, in the beautiful ghetto of Toronto--where mommy supports herself by sucking off ~Mexican immigrants for a paltry sum of money, but none the less, it provides enough income for her day to day needs, with enough left over for her occasional crack cocaine binge.

Also, I have come realize that I am quite lonely, and most recently, made the decision ~to seek out my soul mate through means of an on-line dating being my site of choice, as it appears to have an infinite number of gay souls ~like myself, who are seeking out their ideal life-partner.

Well, I really must say good-bye for now, as it is necessary for me to go and primp for my first date ~with a man I met through I must admit that while I am a bit nervous ~I can't help but feel a warm and tingly sensation down in my nether regions as I anticipate the warm embrace I will [hopefully] receive from my suitor.

Wish me luck

Your [flaming] hero

Karol ~VE7KFM

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My trip to Michigan

Well, it’s time once again to bring ~my devoted readers up to speed.

I recently took a trip to Michigan, with the intentions of visiting my good friend Mark….But, while I was cruising down some red-neck-rural-route in the old Volvo I was abruptly cut-off by a rather large, and quite angry ~man in a pick-up truck. The old Volvo skidded off the road, head on into a tree, and out of nowhere this 400lb ~fucktard reaches through my window and drags me from the wreck.

I [sternly] instructed this feeble reasoning, shit for brains, local yokel, to unhand me at once before things turned ugly (I was a soldier you know) but he just laughed and said, “you dun picked the wrong place to visit” He then produced a ~gun from his pocket, and proceeded too beat me about the head with it until I lost consciousness.

I later awoke in some rather unfamiliar surroundings, possibly an auto repair garage (as it was littered with transmissions) with my captor hovering over me, eating a large bag of Taco Bell.

After he finished eating his taco’s, my captor, who referred to himself as Mr. G, asked if I had any nigger in me, when I said no, he said, “ well you about too, fucktard” and that’s when Leroy walked in…and things took a turn for the worse, with all that entails.

Leroy, a darkie by nature, walked over carrying what appeared to be a bucket of old transmission fluid, and dipped what he called his “JOHNSON” in it, as Mr.G shouted “give that butt baby some African sausage” Where as Leroy, rather vigorously, and quite violently, proceeded to [analy] rape me ~stretching my tight anus, and filling my rectum with his ‘Mandingo’ meat…But, at times, I did have trouble distinguishing the difference between pain and ~pleasure

After this rather horrific, and quite humiliating ordeal, Mr.G then drove me back to my ~ car, but before allowing me to continue on my way he had one last surprise for me. He removed from the bed of his ~truck what appeared to be a toilet seat with chair legs attached to it…. He threw me to the ground and set this contraption up over my head, dropped his britches and positioned his rather hairy ass on the seat above my face, where he proceeded to evacuate his bowels for some twenty minutes. He then, before driving off, threw a napkin at me, but only after blowing his nose into it, and said, “Clean yourself up scat-boy”

After all this I decided to [prematurely] end my vacation and head back to Canada…A very unpleasant trip I do say, as I had to travel in a smashed car, with human excrement on my head, and an ass that felt like it was on fire…Bravo fucktards

In closing, Mr.G, whom ever you are, please govern yourself accordingly, and do sign for the registered letter coming.


Your turd covered toilet boy


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Is there anything they don't know about me?

Woe is me; I am such a disingenuous little bitch, a homosexual and a fraud. Everyone is already well aware that I am not a lawyer, was nothing more than a librarian in the RCM, even though I [Disingenuously] claimed to be a ~captain, but in truth was never more than a private. The world even knows that I am the mildly retarded son of A Nazi-Whore, and that my stupidity got me barred from the Victoria Real Estate Board.

They know everything about me…What is there left to tell? It’s already common ~knowledge that I am a degenerate alcoholic, cocksucker, and coward who is petrified to venture from the safety of my own home, for fear that I might be beaten senseless, or [perhaps] become the victim of a fate that I would rather not think of.

And, to make matters worse, I have recently discovered that my dear mommy has been letting my nemesis from Fla blow his load in her mouth…Yes, the very mouth that she uses to kiss me when I come for a visit! I even heard that mommy is into scat, and that my ‘nemesis’ took a steaming ~dump on her chest, this he did after eating chili and corn!

Well, I’m out of money and beer, so I’m off to piss in a cup, and drink it. Sort of like a warm lager. Hey, recycled beer is better than none at all.


Your queer son of a shit eating Nazi whore


Monday, July 28, 2008

Am I getting a new Daddy?

As some of you may, or [perhaps] may not know, Tom "mother fucker" N1FM/SOB has been claiming to be dating my dear mommy Sophie, and while mommy has denied this [FRUADulant] accusation ~I still can't seem to shake my suspicions. You see, Mommy has been a bit too cheerful lately, and some times doesn’t answer my dozen or so ~daily phone calls.

I have no concrete proof, as of yet, that mother is seeing Tom, but I can’t stop obsessing over the thought of Tom chasing Mommy around the house with a doughnut on his schlong (mommy does love doughnuts) the mere thought of mommy dropping to her knees to partake in Tom’s dick doughnut ~haunts my every thought.

I can just see that smug bastard lying on my old bed with a banana ~covered in whipped-cream, wedged between his butt cheeks ~while my mommy eats that disgusting banana split….I know he would commit many highly disgusting/disturbing acts with my dear old mom ~in an attempt to spite me!

He is even claiming [I can only hope disingenuously] that he is going to marry my mommy, and adopt Brian! How dare he say such a thing! I would rather cut off my dick (if I actually had one) than to have Brian as a brother! And if it does happen, I am NOT taking Brian to the bath-house with me, nor will I let him look at any of my [gay] porn! And, if we do both happen to be at mommy’s house at the same time ~I get the top bunk!

Why oh why did Tom have to put this thought in my head? I have been calling mommy for hours, and she hasn’t answered the phone. I have the feeling that Tom is there right now, giving my beloved mommy a dirty Sanchez, or [perhaps] a wicked dragon ~for those who don’t know, a wicked dragon is when your partner felates you, and upon orgasm, you slap him/her [in my case him] in the back of the head ~causing the semen too shoot out of their nose….And A dirty Sanchez is when you use your schlong to give someone a mustache after anal intercourse.


Your queer hero, Karol

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Another failure

I have been in a rather depressed and highly suicidal state, such as it may be, and consequentially, attempted to end my own life ~this I did by putting my head inside my oven! After an elapsed time of 45 minutes my head was only starting to feel mildly warm. Evidently this method was not going to work as I had intended, so I reluctantly removed my head from the Hasbro Easy-Bake oven….I instead decided to use it to make some [delicious] penis-shaped-cookies ~which I promptly and gleefully popped into my mouth. Yum!

Later that evening, after putting on my Snoopy pajamas, I noticed that the light bulb in the Easy-Bake oven had seared a [red] dot in the center of my forehead! I now look like a freaking Indian woman, an old, drunk, ugly one at that! How the hell can I walk into the bath house looking like this?

The next morning I headed down to the local bath house. After a few stares and giggles the boys calmed down and we all had a few Zima’s to lighten the mood. It was my turn to man the glory hole, but my good friend lance had a better idea, target practice.

Well, needless to say, a new and rather erotic game was invented that day. The new game ‘Target-Practice’ consisted of me getting on my knees and facing the boys who had formed a rather long line in front of me. One by one the boys took turns shooting their loads at the dot on my forehead. Not only was this great fun, but my complexion has never been better, by far the best facial moisturizer I have ever used.

My attempt at suicide was however a failure, not unlike every other thing I have ever attempted.

Sincerely, your queer hero


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I have a date ~at Dayton

You might be asking yourself why I would go to the Dayton hamfest
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